Some humor

Courtesy, delightfully, of my MIL:

From a dear old friend. This cracks me up and is also weirdly correct in this year of our lord.

1 August 2020: HILARIOUS + election countdown

When you receive this Daily, the election will be 92 days away. For context, if you’re an American in a science-based state like I am, thank you jesus, atheists, and so forth, you have now been at home for approximately 140 days.

I have nothing good to say about the country today so instead will share that: J and O got to extend their gloved arms for trained falcons today (and I am very jealous); Tom and I had a date to the hardware store and it’s distinctly possible it was one of our top 5 dates of all time because we were somewhere that’s not our home and we were not with our children and we were allowed time to browse and we got a tool that rethreads screws in addition to a puzzle, a pair of underpants, some drywall anchors, and two ferns; and we had a most gorgeous and delicious dinner after which we finished the Michael Jordan documentary which is totally awesome.

In addition, I want to share with you a video that has made me laugh so GD hard so many GD times today. I am thankful. If y’all are on Twitter and don’t follow Rex Chapman, a pox on you. You need him right now. Turn the sound up, don’t ask any questions, laugh.

“What’s your name??”

If you didn’t just click on and watch that, what’s wrong with you? Go back and watch it. It is so random and so delightful.

Also, I never get tired of this woman dancing. Live your best big life, y’all.

PS, make buttery mashed potatoes with collard greens and roasted garlic.

28 July 2020: Cat Laughs

Apparently, the combination of fire heat, parenting + working, lack of sleep, Barr’s smug, sanctimonious, selective “remembering” today, and a profound aversion to the bandage on my chest has led me to need and immerse myself in a vat of cat footage. I am delighted.

Observe.

This cat tries ice cream for the first time. I have watched this no less than 92 times today, and even Tom laughed when I forced him to watch. I have a cat, Nutmeg, who LOVES all dairy, even the vaguest hint of it— cheddar, ricotta, milk, cream cheese, cupcake frosting—so this video is infinitely plausible. And yet, what happens? Does the cat get a brain freeze? I’m dying.

Meanwhile, this cat, bless its heart, has no grace. I forced Tom to watch this one too, and he did chuckle. Cats are Majestic Creatures. You really cannot tell which cats will and won’t be graceful and next-level feline. Nutmeg, for example, weighs 15 pounds and I swear he walks like a ghost. There is NO sound. Not a whisper. Ruthie, meanwhile, all 8 or 9 pounds of her walks like a plodding, lumbering goat on stilts. She is loud. Really loud. Like clunky loud. It’s phenomenal, really.

Lastly, I leave you with this. It is in this share that I feel I’m fully becoming middle-aged. Or I’m just desperate because 150,000+ Americans are dead, my oldest may spend his entire freshman year of high school learning from our kitchen, and we’ve been at home for 20 weeks come Friday. Also, the “president” today retweeted “a voice that seemed very important” despite the fact the he doesn’t know anything about her. The her and voice in question belong to Stella Immanuel, a “doctor” who believes that women’s gynecological issues are caused by having sex with demons while they sleep. Demon sperm is a thing the American press had to ask our “president” about during his presser today.

So, I’ll take cat videos and catmouflage with raccoons.