28 July 2020: Cat Laughs

Apparently, the combination of fire heat, parenting + working, lack of sleep, Barr’s smug, sanctimonious, selective “remembering” today, and a profound aversion to the bandage on my chest has led me to need and immerse myself in a vat of cat footage. I am delighted.

Observe.

This cat tries ice cream for the first time. I have watched this no less than 92 times today, and even Tom laughed when I forced him to watch. I have a cat, Nutmeg, who LOVES all dairy, even the vaguest hint of it— cheddar, ricotta, milk, cream cheese, cupcake frosting—so this video is infinitely plausible. And yet, what happens? Does the cat get a brain freeze? I’m dying.

Meanwhile, this cat, bless its heart, has no grace. I forced Tom to watch this one too, and he did chuckle. Cats are Majestic Creatures. You really cannot tell which cats will and won’t be graceful and next-level feline. Nutmeg, for example, weighs 15 pounds and I swear he walks like a ghost. There is NO sound. Not a whisper. Ruthie, meanwhile, all 8 or 9 pounds of her walks like a plodding, lumbering goat on stilts. She is loud. Really loud. Like clunky loud. It’s phenomenal, really.

Lastly, I leave you with this. It is in this share that I feel I’m fully becoming middle-aged. Or I’m just desperate because 150,000+ Americans are dead, my oldest may spend his entire freshman year of high school learning from our kitchen, and we’ve been at home for 20 weeks come Friday. Also, the “president” today retweeted “a voice that seemed very important” despite the fact the he doesn’t know anything about her. The her and voice in question belong to Stella Immanuel, a “doctor” who believes that women’s gynecological issues are caused by having sex with demons while they sleep. Demon sperm is a thing the American press had to ask our “president” about during his presser today.

So, I’ll take cat videos and catmouflage with raccoons.