"Pulled through the hedge backwards" -Aunt Da

Oh gawd, talk about your expectations being wildly mistaken. I had two lovely glasses of wine with my Indian meal and went to bed at 8:50p. Took a melatonin for good measure. Oliver was up at 2:45 and then again for good at 5. Is someone joking? And why does this always happen when Tom is out of town? When Jack was little and O not yet an idea, Tom went to China for work and J had two night terrors in a row. Just after the second one, T called from the Great Wall, boasting about the view. If I could have put a fork in his head through the phone, I would have. I'd love to actually and accurately know how many times since then the boys have gotten sick as soon as T left for the airport. Blast.

New funny pronunciation from Oliver: impact hammer is "hammocka hammer." Wha??

Do you think my food mill will come this morning? The clock is telling me that I need to get Jack dressed for school. Mother of god, this is going to be a long day.