Oliver
/5:15am Ol: "MOM, I have to pee."
Mom: "Oliver, you don't need to tell me this. Just get out of your bed and go make it happen."
Ol: "OKAYYYYYYYY."
Brief time lapse.
Ol: "Mom, I peed and look, here's Nutters (nickname for the cat)!!!"
Mom, with sad realization that I'd never get back to sleep: "Oliver, please close our door, go back into your room and get in bed. NOW."
Multiple doors slam and the cat decides to yodel.
Later...
Ol in sad voice: "Mom, my shawk (shark in his accent) pants have a hole in them. Look."
Mom: "I'm sorry honey. How do you think that happened?"
Ol: "I scissored it right into them."
Grr.