Honest to Jesus, y'all, that was the most boring Oscars ever. T and I called it a night early! So much singing, so much time between awards. Those two guys whose vision this show was not only looked alike but also brought us a major snoozefest. Here are my faves/not-faves of the night!

Anne Hathaway: terrible dress re: front-view as the darts in the corset were like blinking arrows pointing to her nipples; lovely dress re: back-view; thought speech seemed a bit too practiced; nonetheless she is such a solid gal!

THRILL re: Argo winning Best Picture and Adapted Screenplay because it was a terrific film and I was sad for BAffleck being snubbed for director. That said, Lincoln was a masterpiece, so I'm THRILLED DD-L won Best Actor. He is also a masterpiece.

Christoph Waltz: what a delight.

Ben Affleck should keep the beard!

Jennifer Lawrence: she is infinitely likeable, would probably be a blast to hang out with, and I loved her dress, but I thought her Best Actress win was a travesty.

Olivia Munn looked smokin', Kerry Washington has incredible cheekbones and comes across as such a smart, cool woman.

WHAT was up with the posse of spectral men with long, unkempt hair who kept winning sound-based awards? If they are that pale because they spend all day in dark rooms mixing sounds, they should get outside. And for the love of god, cut the hair. I, myself, like long hair on men when it's well-cut and well-kept. Neither was the case for any of those Julian-Assange-in-a-long-wig lookers last night.

Ang Lee is the sweetest looking man ever. His wife looks exactly like him.

Kristin Chenoweth is possibly the most annoying, grating, irritating mini-Barbie I've ever been forced to experience. Kelly Rowland seemed to be high or in some sort of la-la land.

Renee Zellweger looks to be on a slow burn to ShrinkyDink: every time I see her, she's smaller and tighter. She simply must stop Botox-ing her forehead so severely. It's dripping into the rest of her face. Also, Dustin Hoffman's wife seemed unable to move any part of her visage except the bridge of her nose.

I liked Nicole Kidman's dress, and even though one of my Facebook friends made the excellent point that Halle Berry's dress was a tad too Dynasty, I still thought she looked wonderful.

Stacy Keibler?