Miscellany I want to share with y'all: In the Darkroom; Two Wolves parable; Nutmeg cat; March for Science

In no particular order of import:

Nutmeg, aka the most delightful cat in the world

Despite the apparent rotundity, we have been SO diligent with Nut's diet, and he has lost 1.5 pounds. I believe fur, loose skin, and positionality are to blame here. Plus, that damn camera adding pounds...

Despite the apparent rotundity, we have been SO diligent with Nut's diet, and he has lost 1.5 pounds. I believe fur, loose skin, and positionality are to blame here. Plus, that damn camera adding pounds...

Two Wolves - a Cherokee parable

An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life...

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. 
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.

The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. 

This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, 
"Which wolf will win?"

The old chief simply replied, 
"The one you feed."

In the Darkroom

Friends, you MUST read this book. Written by Susan Faludi, it is ostensibly about after her estranged, then 76-year-old father undergoing sex reassignment surgery to fully transition to a woman. And while it is an incredibly powerful discussion about self and gender identity and the recovery of a parent-child relationship that had long stood on shaky ground, it is also broader than that, taking us through considerations of national and religious identities through the lens of Hungary, historically, during World War II and the Holocaust, and more presently, since the turn of the century on. It's like a riveting history text + a mesmerizing personal tale.

I rationed my reading of it and was truly crushed when I finished it Monday. Tom and I spent some time in Budapest in 2004, just weeks after Hungary had joined the European Union. (Because I am forever talking to everyone) we found that many Hungarians felt deeply vexed about what impact(s) EU membership might have on their national identity. In light of those conversations (which led me to imagine that Hungarians had a long-standing, deeply-rooted, unified sense of what their identity was), I found Faludi's explication of Hungary's fraught history with its sense of self particularly fascinating. 

And for anyone worried about just how bad hyper-nationalistic, pro-Christian, anti-Semitic (and Muslim and Roma and...), anti-LGBTQ administrations can be for a country, just how far down a scary hole those can go, look to Hungary today where an uber-rightist, intolerant government aided and abetted by a far-right propaganda-based internet presence, has, in many ways, driven the country into the ground. Sound familiar? It's alarming to say the least.

Food

Thank god spring is (nearly) here. Grilled bread with ricotta, lemon zest, olive oil, salt and sauteed pea shoots, snow peas, and English peas is fab.

Thank god spring is (nearly) here. Grilled bread with ricotta, lemon zest, olive oil, salt and sauteed pea shoots, snow peas, and English peas is fab.

So is grilled focaccia with sauteed mushrooms (oyster, shitake, lion), creme fraiche, and thyme.

So is grilled focaccia with sauteed mushrooms (oyster, shitake, lion), creme fraiche, and thyme.

Also fab? A homemade birthday cake- chocolate and chocolate-from my mother-in-law. 41 in binary (lit/unlit candles) courtesy of my nerdtastic husband and J.

Also fab? A homemade birthday cake- chocolate and chocolate-from my mother-in-law. 41 in binary (lit/unlit candles) courtesy of my nerdtastic husband and J.

Science (and knowledge and facts) is great!

Who's marching in the March for Science on Saturday? Jack and I are marching in DC, and last I checked there were 571 satellite marches in the US and abroad. Find one and make your voices heard!

Some important reading re: current affairs

My heart continues to break for Alton Sterling's and Philando Castile's families as well as for those of the policemen slain in Dallas. This violence is shattering, shredding the fabric of families, communities and our country. 

On Thursday, I spoke to the boys about the situation. We had a very frank conversation about racism and privilege, and I told them how important it was to always stand up for what is right. We each have a voice, and while using it sometimes feels scary or like a drop in a huge ocean, it is important to speak up and speak out. Silence is not and never will be a way forward.

I have read a number of profound, wrenching, beautiful, important articles and essays in recent days and wanted to share some links in case you too are trying to further educate yourself about racism, white privilege, police violence, what whites can and need to do, the #blacklivesmatter versus #alllivesmatter debate I see going on, and so forth. 

Walking While Black by Garnette Cadogan

28 Common Racist Attitudes and Behaviors from Odin's Blog

Mapping Police Violence

This short video that asks a very simple question and silences the crowd.

The Problem With Saying 'All Lives Matter' by Tyler Huckabee

18 Books Every White Ally Should Read by Crystal Paul

Micah Johnson is the Making of America's Own Racist Creation by Shaun King

Two things I want to show you; long car trip finally over

We left our home at 10:30 this morning and brought our suitcases up the North Carolina house stairs at 8:15 tonight. Mother of bizness- that is too long in a car.

Thank goodness for the Stuart Gibbs book on tape we had (Space Case; very enjoyable, even for adults) , iPads, and that random Target we found somewhere in Virginia. Horrible traffic on 95S and I had the worst case of motion sickness I've had in ages. Target provided me Dramamine which knocked me out but did cure the vomitous nausea. 

In any case, we are here now, the boys are tucked in, the rest of T's family arrives tomorrow, and our fourth -fifth?- annual beach week has commenced. 

Such a pretty evening

Such a pretty evening

I read this BuzzFeed list of Scottish tweets back to Donald Trump post Brexit and laughed so hard, for so long that I nearly passed out. As such, I feel it would be terribly remiss of me not to share in case you haven't seen it and to urge you to read and snort uproariously one or eleven times. 

I mean, "@realDonaldTrump SCOTLAND VOTED TO STAY, YOU WITLESS FUCKING COCKSPLAT."? Hilarious!

Secondly, during today's interminable drive, we also listened to a great NPR podcast from Invisibilia. Called The New Norm, the show was about invisible emotional structures that dictate and/or influence individual behaviors in public. 

Two stories were embedded in the overall feature: one about opening the first McDonald's in Moscow and how difficult it was to convince the employees to adopt the very American greet-with-a-smile customer service; and the other, the one to which I want to draw your attention, about one rig foreman's attempt to change the rigidly Southern-masculine personas Louisiana and Mississippi oilmen often constrict themselves by. FASCINATING! Do yourself a favor, and listen to this.