I-95

Early on this wintry Saturday, I-95 is quiet. Shrouded in fog, lined by spiny, leafless trees, save for the pines. Litter and traffic cones dot the otherwise monochromatic landscape. Here a sleeping excavation machine; there, in a clearing, a shrine to a dead loved one, the cross and wreath tidy, tended. What looks like a hawk wings through the haze. What looks like an owl watches intently, feathers puffed against the chill.

The bus driver pulls into a rest stop. A new driver boards. Wrappers crinkle, a respectfully low din of conversation is a hypnotic white noise.

We resume our journey north. The fog is spectral, enchanting. Was it fog like this that blinded Kobe’s helicopter pilot? What is beautiful can also break, crush, ruin. Just look at the world.

I am heading to New York for refuge in its relentless vibrancy and tolerance, the theater, and a coincidental overlap with my parents’ own week of retreat in the city.

In this bus in this fog in this cold in this path through dead-not-dead, I feel peace for the first time in weeks.

It is welcome.

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Sink plants

Ignoring the state of the Republic to bring you a story of sink plants.

Sink plants, you ask? What are they? Do read on.

Several months ago, after brushing his teeth one morning, Ol came in my room and said, “Momma, there are plants growing out of my sink.”

Certain that he was punking me, because Ol is exceptionally good at pulling off pranks of all size and shape, I said, “Sure, Ol. Finish getting ready for school.”

Plants growing out of a sink.

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The next morning, however, Ol returned to tell me that seriously, “There ARE plants growing out my sink.”

“Oliver, WHAT? Ugh.” I kinda stomped into his bathroom, and lo!

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Ignoring the disgusting state of the sink and drain itself, or actually not because apparently it sustains life, THERE WERE PLANTS GROWING OUT OF HIS SINK. Boys are really just gross in many ways. I mean, WHAT?

I was so flabbergasted that all I could do was laugh uncontrollably and nearly pee. “Oliver, there ARE plants growing in your sink. This is totally disgusting and also hilarious.”

“I told you, Momma. I have been spitting tomato seeds in there…”

While he was at school, I continued to marvel at the hopeful green sprouts. Our housekeepers had recently scrubbed the sink, Ol had been spitting toothpaste down the hatch twice-daily, there are no windows directly facing the vanity, and oh my god, that drain is nasty. But what did those seeds do? They persevered.

I tenderly removed each seedling and decided to plant them. Why not? Were they in fact tomatoes? What kind? Would they keep growing if transplanted?

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Ol’s buddy gave him this dinosaur planter for a birthday years ago, and it seemed perfect for the purpose at hand. I used good potting mix and placed the vessel on a sunny sill in our kitchen. When Ol got home and saw his plants, he was delighted.

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Months later, and the sink plants are thriving. One was very alpha, so I had to divide and repot them earlier this week. They’re so damn earnest that I felt I should give them the best shot, and so purchased an inexpensive grow light. This has delighted Oliver, all of us really, even more.

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It quickly became clear that the plants were, in fact, tomatoes. And Ol recently shared that he feels they are mini Kumatos. We shall see.

New Year, New Em-i-lis

It is an abnormally warm winter morning; 63° F in Maryland on January 12? And nearly 70 yesterday. Meanwhile, Australia continues to burn, and the news about the Ukrainian passenger plane shot down by Iran remains shrouded in suspicion, smoke, and mirrors. trump has been impeached by the House, but the Senate is unwilling to hold a fair trial.

2020 is not off to an auspicious start, and I have been sitting with a definite sense of unease and fatigue since the proverbial ball dropped. In reflection, several things have crystallized.

  1. Facebook, while so pleasurable and connective in many ways, is not a positive force for democracy or educative purposes. Mark Zuckerberg is a bad actor, and his policies do not support a site that bridges or teaches. Rather, he turns a willfully blind eye to the many ways his site not only allows but spreads mis- and disinformation, and I can no longer be a part of that. With mixed feelings, and as many of you know, I’ve just bid Facebook goodbye. For now I’ll stay on Twitter (@em_i_lis) and Instagram (em_i_lis) should you wish to connect on social media.

  2. My writerly mind and hand have felt increasingly shriveled, a reaction, I believe, to the stress of life post-2016. Nothing feels as safe, and I see so many of us hunkering down and in, searching for people and spaces in which we can vent, breathe, worry, and support. And yet I attribute writing (and teachers and mentors like Jena, Dana, Anne, Laura, CLJ, Denise, Leah, Margaret, and Sue Ann) to freedom. To so much of the woman I am today. To the ways I’ve shrugged off old burdens and others’ expectations that didn’t resonate with who I really am. To the voice and sense of self I have now. It seems clear that I need to return to this space and reclaim it, reshape it, repair the flaking silver from its back so that I see my most accurate reflection when I peer in.
    As Margaret Atwood said, “A word after a word after a word is power.” For me, for all of us.

  3. Every single one of us needs to get busy in support of this November’s election. Winning the Presidency and Senate and holding the House will require all of us to donate, call, text, knock on doors, register voters, and urge people to exercise the privilege we each have in our vote. And let me be clear, I believe, firmly and completely, that we have to gain hold of all three, the White House, the Senate, and the House, if we are to right our sinking ship. I don’t want to live in a single-party silo country, but the GOP has completely lost its way. With the exception of Justin Amash who had to leave the party behind, the GOP has shown that it cares not for our Constitution, cares not about representing the totality of the American people, and cares not for the rule of law. America is NOT and should not be a heteronormative, white, Christian country.
    As you’ve all heard many times, Benjamin Franklin, exiting Independence Hall the day the Constitution was adopted, was asked, “Dr. Franklin, what do we have, a monarchy or a republic?” He replied, “A republic, if we can keep it.” 

Keep it we must. Keeping it means doing more than tweeting and posting. It means real footwork, a lot of time, a lot of effort, and a lot of determination. It means being deeply educated and being willing to talk and share knowledge with others, to fill the holes left in the wake of pitiful excuses for “news” outlets like Fox, of weak public education, of willful ignorance, and of bigotry, hate, and pretty much every -ism you can think of. We must, each of us, be informed and remain open-minded. We must seek candidates to support but also hold the big picture front and center. Intra-party purity tests only benefit the opposition (except re: Tulsi. She is a terrible candidate who has failed to do her congressional job more than 87% of the time, and she isn’t a Democrat).

Long story short, let’s get to work. In addition to my activism, I am relaunching Em-i-lis as a small contribution to the Resistance. My goal is for this space to educate and inspire and foster a community of energetic, democratically-minded peers and also to entertain and chat with you.

Here you will find:

  • a weekly round-up of articles, speeches, etc that feel critically important and contribute to Em-i-lis’ new mission;

  • contributions by really incredible thinkers and writers who are regular people like you and me, people I am lucky to call friends and who are doing the work we must all do;

  • ways you can get involved in various campaigns, get-out-the-vote efforts, and so forth;

  • humor! levity! comic relief! my cats! general spawn-based shenanigans! travel, theater, and book ideas.

If Em-i-lis is no longer for you, I wish you all the best. If you want to join me here, please subscribe! You’ll have to confirm/verify your email, so please check your inbox and/or spam box to ensure you click through the link you receive. You’ll only hear from me once daily at the very most- after I post, a Daily Em-i-lis is emailed out the next morning. My goal is 2-3 posts per week.

Please be patient as the site undergoes some renovation, and keep in mind that while it is optimized for mobile, the best functionality and viewer experience is via desktop. Please let me know what you like, don’t like, want more of or less of. And as always, thank you for your friendship and support!

Let’s do this!