40 in forty: Write thank you notes and check in

40 in forty bit of wisdom today: write thank you notes! If you have kids/spouses who don't already, make them write thank you notes too.

If you like paper, treat yourself to some beautiful stationery and a pretty pen that isn't terribly prone to smudging. If you couldn't care less about these objets, stick with your basic note pad and ballpoint; the point is the thought behind and appreciation in your words.

A terrific thank you note needn't be overly long. It simply needs to be personal and reflective: why do you like what you've been given or had done for you? How have you enjoyed it, or how do you plan to enjoy it?

In this harried time, connection with others is easier than ever in many ways but often more superficial. Receiving a sincere, well-considered letter of gratitude slows everything down for a moment, allowing the person who thought of you first to both enjoy anew his or her lovely action and know how appreciated that action was. 

Tangentially, if you know or suspect that someone is having a tough time, check in. You never know how much a hug (real or virtual), quick text or call can help and mean.

Extra bonus: sending notes of thanks and reaching out to others will make you feel fabulous!
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Rome is too beautiful not to share, so I'm foisting more photographs upon you. 

in Trastevere

An elderly woman watches out over a Trastevere piazza. I love her pink shawl.

Artichoke crostini; a delicious part of lunch.

artichokes at the campo dei fiori market

I never tire of these colors. Lawd a'mercy.

A festive spirit goes a long way: 40 in forty

"Mama, you are always up for a party," Oliver said to me as I prepped for our Academy Awards fete last month. 

"Right you are, Ol," I replied, pleased that he's noticed. "A festive spirit makes life more fun."

I attribute a great deal of my spirit to having grown up in Louisiana where pretty much anything --from birth, marriage, and death- are cause for some sort of celebration. I think there's much to be said about a place where parties are thrown so regularly and where even the saddest funeral is lightened with laughter over fond, shared memories at one point or another. Second lines, wakes, weddings, Mardi Gras, Christmastime, all infused with music, food, drink and a varying degree of fancy dress...well, suffice it to say that Louisiana is an animated place.

It is also true that I've always enjoyed bringing people together and that doing so causes me no worry or stress. Mom used to pay me to worry for her before parties she threw; easiest job I ever had because the preparation didn't vex me in the slightest.

There are moments in which I've regretted planning a party, or felt overwhelmed by the timing of it, but I've never lamented actually carrying through with the plans.

I've also found that a merry nature can make the dullest meeting more pleasant, enable me to get to know others in ways I might not otherwise, and make less major moments feel special and joyful. Half-birthdays, a random Tuesday, you get my drift. This spirit of embracing and celebrating is something I try hard to pass on to my boys. I think they're doing a fine job so far.

Life is hard, the weeks can feel awfully long, and sometimes all it takes is popping a cork-of champagne, wine or sparkling apple cider- and using stemware or asking a few friends over for dinner or channeling your inner kid to bring some needed lightness to it all.

Time spent laughing is never time wasted. And joy shared is a lovely gift for all involved.

Ol's 7th birthday party was today

His character name was Darth Leprechaun. I do NOT worry about this kid's spirit.

Ol's Pot of Gold cake

40 in forty: Know your limits

I have been full-on extroverting all week, and while I have felt very happy and energized, by this morning I could tell that if I didn't spend some time by myself, quiet, recharging my own batteries, I might burst. And not in a good way. There may have been tears during coffee this morning. I'm just saying. Let's call them the final Code Red warning sign.

40 in forty tip: To thine own self be true.

I rarely go biblical, but those are some true-ass words. 

People, at the end of the day, you have yourself, and if that self is a pale, wan, deflated balloon of an entity, you don't have much to work with or go on. Feel me?

I was almost obnoxiously happy yesterday, so after I dried my tears this morning I decided the next best step would be to get dressed in nice clothes so that at least my exterior would look polished at the Middle School tour for parents starting at 9. 

It was lovely to see familiar faces and catch up with friends I don't cross paths with often enough, but by the gym locker room viewing, I'd gotten the drift, had my fill, and was feeling borderline bursty.

Not that many years ago, I'd have stayed. Obligation, decorum, a sense of politeness would have prevailed. But today, I acknowledged that I've already seen what we were about to visit and so politely shook hands with the principal, thanked her profusely, and went on my way.

I ran some errands, changed clothes and high-tailed it to my yard where I ignored every beep from my phone, unearthed hairy bittercress (funny how the nemesis weed of Jack's toddlerhood is still with us), planted some bulbs, rued the depleted soil, amended it with everything I had available, visited with a neighbor and then baked Ol's birthday party cakes for tomorrow.

I was by my lonesome for a good six hours, and sister, did I need it. I am so much better for knowing my limits and needs and honoring them. Do it, y'all!